I was first diagnosed with cancer in 2010. The oncologist explained the results from the lab. It was a very rare tumor, only 27 reported cases, but he had fortunately treated someone in the past and was currently treating someone else reflecting positive results through treatment. I was a complete emotional wreck, devastated and scared. I did not have serenity of the heart, mind, or spirit. He scheduled me for a procedure to take plenty of biopsies and for a PET CT scan. For some strange reason, the results of the biopsies and PET CT scan came back negative. They could not find my cancer. I remained under the watchful eye of my doctor for two years, seeing him in three month intervals. Finally, in September 2012, I went for my three month follow up. I received a call one week later telling me I had cancer and they would be treating it aggressively because it was stage three. Again I felt fear, but after the initial reaction, my attitude this time around was completely different.
I reflected and realized that I have had trying circumstances since childhood. I grew up in a home affected by my father's alcoholism and his abandonment when I was 14; had an abusive first relationship; had PTSD (which I thought was only reserved for the men and women in service) because of those experiences; went through divorce; and for a long time suffered from what I recently learned was situational depression (as opposed to clinical). Most recently I had a painful falling out with my family. I feel that others have gone through more challenging circumstance than I have, but I am superficially telling you about some of the events in my life that for me have been very traumatic. Looking back, I can assert that before my physical cancer, I suffered an emotional cancer.
Truth be told, I don't think it was a "strange reason" that my cancer stayed away for two years. My belief is that God realized that lack of serenity in me of mind, heart, and spirit was too great to walk the walk. From my diagnosis in 2010 to my diagnosis in 2012, I managed to find greater inner peace by truly understanding and realizing that it's been God that has helped me "survive" all of these trying periods in my life. When the news came in 2012, after I cried and my pressure stablilized, I basically rolled up my sleeves and said, Ok God, let's do this. The stories of courage and triumph that I came across, He sent them my way. I feel it is my duty and responsiblity to share those testimonies with you. I don't focus on statistics, side effects, or the like. My side effects may not be yours, and yours not mine, so I will not go there. Is this hard? Yes, it is. But you can get through this. I have survived so many things thus far, cancer is just one more.
Each and every one of us is born with a limited existence of the body, not the soul. So whether it is cancer or something else, our physical being is finite. But, no matter how dire the prognosis seems, God has the last say, and He shows me miracles every day.
I reflected and realized that I have had trying circumstances since childhood. I grew up in a home affected by my father's alcoholism and his abandonment when I was 14; had an abusive first relationship; had PTSD (which I thought was only reserved for the men and women in service) because of those experiences; went through divorce; and for a long time suffered from what I recently learned was situational depression (as opposed to clinical). Most recently I had a painful falling out with my family. I feel that others have gone through more challenging circumstance than I have, but I am superficially telling you about some of the events in my life that for me have been very traumatic. Looking back, I can assert that before my physical cancer, I suffered an emotional cancer.
Truth be told, I don't think it was a "strange reason" that my cancer stayed away for two years. My belief is that God realized that lack of serenity in me of mind, heart, and spirit was too great to walk the walk. From my diagnosis in 2010 to my diagnosis in 2012, I managed to find greater inner peace by truly understanding and realizing that it's been God that has helped me "survive" all of these trying periods in my life. When the news came in 2012, after I cried and my pressure stablilized, I basically rolled up my sleeves and said, Ok God, let's do this. The stories of courage and triumph that I came across, He sent them my way. I feel it is my duty and responsiblity to share those testimonies with you. I don't focus on statistics, side effects, or the like. My side effects may not be yours, and yours not mine, so I will not go there. Is this hard? Yes, it is. But you can get through this. I have survived so many things thus far, cancer is just one more.
Each and every one of us is born with a limited existence of the body, not the soul. So whether it is cancer or something else, our physical being is finite. But, no matter how dire the prognosis seems, God has the last say, and He shows me miracles every day.
